What would my Matriarchy look like?

Towards the end of last year, I went to see Bridget Christie’s wonderful one woman show ‘A Bic for Her’. It’s all about feminism. It is the funniest thing I have seen in a long time, so go grab yourself a ticket if you haven’t already. Bridget says the definition of feminism, is, basically, equality. Which raised a lot of questions for me – do we want equality in all things? I for one am more than happy for a chap to give up his seat on an overcrowded bus for me. Providing he hasn’t assumed I’m pregnant #firstworldproblemsforthelargerlady. And if we do want equality, how do we get it? And, more fundamentally, what does that equality look like? The sort of questions you could spend a lifetime exploring. Much like the ‘1001 wines you must try before you die’ book I saw in the off license yesterday. So that’s the next 20 years sorted ;-)

So I started thinking (on the basis that we do live in a Patriarchy), what would a Matriarchy look like? Or rather, what would my Matriarchy look like? I found a brilliant article by Gloria Steinmen called ‘If Men Could Menstruate’, which the female readers (and maybe the male) will enjoy J But I also wrote my own list – it’s far less radical than some I found on google. And I’m not entirely sure it’s a Matriarchy, rather just how I’d like the world to be for a bit – so we could sit in it, live in it, see how it feels, and then work out which bits work and which bits don’t. So here goes:

-          A crèche in all workplaces

-          Non gender specific sport at schools

-          All toys and clothes to be non gender specific (I’m talking primarily colours here, rather than not allowing for breasts and genitalia). 

-          Naked men on Page 3. And on TV for that matter. Think Daniel Craig coming out of the water in that Bond Movie. But all the time. 

-          Men legally required to take the pill (and thus responsibility for pregnancy) unless the couple have agreed they want a child. ie all single men must take the pill. We keep the periods, they can handle a few chemicals.

-          Men have taken on the mantle of organising all social activities/maintaining friendships, and women just rock up.

-          Generally accepted that men do all the cooking and washing, and women do it occasionally as a token gesture.

-          Teenage sexuality comprises mostly of boys going down on girls, rather than girls scrambling to oblige blow job requests in cupboards at parties.

 

-          Men cry as much as women. And that’s ok. In fact, it is positively encouraged. As is men talking all about their feelings

-          All writing/imagery about women should be to do with health and strength, rather than weight. 

-          Air brushing is subject to regulation and legal limits – not entirely sure how we’d police/mandate that – maybe 2% max off the inner thigh, 5% on the boobs, 10% on the testicles.... that sort of thing. 

-          TV panel shows are full of funny, ballsy, witty women, who take up the majority of air time, and then there’s just a token male guest who gets the odd line (cf Bridget Christie, and in fact, all female comedians....!).

-          The cultural perception of women who explore their sexuality and sleep around is one of heroism and empowerment. Men who do the same are viewed as slutty. 

-          Christian Louboutin has developed magic shoes, at a 10^th of the price, which make walking in heels as easy as walking in flip flops. This has also coincided with fetishism of men with thin feet, thus forcing a large percentage of the male population to walk in highly uncomfortable shoes if they wish to get laid.

-          Strip joints become properly unisex. I have no issue with men going to watch naked women. I just think us women should have a similar area in each of the clubs. But maybe just with naked men who give us massages/blow-dries whilst reading aloud some erotic literature.

So, those are my suggestions. I’m sure there are far more worthy ones. I look forward to hearing yours ;-)

Gem x